The Hard Work of Being a Mother

Cuba: The Hard Work of Being a Mother
May 11, 2013
Rosa Martínez

HAVANA TIMES —Though I read all of the comments that people write in
response to my posts, I am not always able to reply to them, much less
write a new piece as way of a retort.

Many comments have given me ideas for posts which I have later
developed, but I do not make a habit of replying to comments that anger
me or hurt my feelings. I am of the opinion that everyone ought to be
free to express their opinions, but that it is important to respect
others in the process.

Today, however, on the eve of Mother's Day, I want to refer to a number
of comments I received a few months ago, in response to the post "The
Height of Forgetfulness", which I had published on this site.

I believe those who accused me of being irresponsible were right. In
fact, that is precisely what I felt when I realized I had left my little
girl behind in the park. No one is as duty-bound to care for our
children as we, their parents, are, and oversights of this nature can
cost a child their life, in Cuba and any other country in the world.

No one would have kidnapped my girl to ask for a million-dollar ransom,
nor was she at any serious risk of being murdered by someone, not in
Cuba, but she could have easily been hit by a car or suffered another
kind of accident trying to get home on her own.

I acknowledge the serious consequences that my neglectfulness could have
caused.

A mistake at work can cost one a sanction or, in the worst of cases,
one's job. A misunderstanding can ruin a friendship of many years. But
one can live with all these things.

However, the guilt a mother cannot live with is the guilt of having
caused their child harm, or brought about their death, through neglect.
I don't think I could ever live with that. I imagine no mother could.

Many are the daily chores that fall on women, particularly Cuban women,
who, because of their measly salaries, cannot afford to hire someone to
wash or iron clothes, much less take care of the house while they work
elsewhere.

Like most mothers around the planet, Cuban mothers carry the heaviest
burdens at home. We contribute, as our husbands do, to covering daily
household expenses and, in addition to this, are also responsible for
our children's education, for their moral upbringing, school work and
other forms of instruction.

Nothing justifies the oversight I described in my post, but I want
people to see that a change in daily routine can easily lead to it, as
it did with me. The important thing is to prevent such things from
happening again, right? Nobody is perfect and what happened to me could
have happened to anyone.

I dedicate this post to those mothers, to the most self-sacrificing of
the lot.

To those who fall asleep helping their kids with their homework; to
those who accidentally burn food while getting ahead on the cleaning or
washing for the next day and to those who arrive late at parent-teacher
meetings because they could not get away from work earlier.

This is also dedicated to those who carry two jobs, plus the full burden
of the home, who act as both mother and father, as sister and friend. To
those who leave behind their child in the park in a moment of neglect;
to those who sacrifice their own lives to devote themselves entirely to
their little ones, and to those who prepare the most delicious food in
the world, adding that special ingredient that no one else knows how to
give as they do: love.

I dedicate this post to all of those mothers, congratulating them on
this most special of days.

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