An Indecent Proposal

An Indecent Proposal / Jeovany Jimenez Vega
Jeovany J. Vega, Translator: Unstated,

In response to an article published by Jean-Guy Allard in the newspaper
Granma on November 12, in which Yoani Sanchez is accused, for the
umpteenth time, of being "a mercenary working for the United States."

Clearly the theme "Generation Y" has escaped the hands of those
responsible for calming the troops, and I presume this has upset the
dream of countless government operatives, real and virtual, at all
levels of Cuban counterintelligence.

As in my role as a doctor I'm obliged to look after the physical as well
as the mental health of every Cuban, today I am trying to convey to the
author of this article and to State Security — including its Section 21,
that maintains a very intense romance with this young woman in Havana —
a doubt that assails me: if the U.S. government and/or the CIA have
contracted with this "mercenary" and this is what motivates her,
financial payments, she works only for this, then the solution to their
insomnia is extremely simple: why don't they bribe her? Why don't they
pay her more and call it good?

If there is something that history has amply demonstrated, it is that
the mercenaries, without honor and flag, serve the highest bidder; then
the solution is easy: if the people to the north have paid her some
miserable half million euros, then pay her, let's say, a million, or
five, or even ten, and surely her eyes will jump out of her head at such
an irresistible offer. After all, in this heart vacant of principles
there is nothing more than greed, so now it's time to raise the stakes
on this out-of-control woman and you'll see how fast she changes sides
and sinks into an absolute silence, as such a contract would require.

Although I have been to her house many times, the only life of Yoani's
that I know is the publicly visible one. Despite the cordiality with
which she treats everyone there, along with her husband — that also
irredeemable soul, Reinaldo Escobar — there are barriers that respect
and prudence presuppose. Because of this I don't aspire in this post to
offer an apology, not to mention that's not my personal style, it's
about something much more elemental: someone who has managed to feed a
blog that receives, according to Wikipedia, 14 million visits a month —
making it the most visited page in the Spanish language network —
doesn't need it.

As for me, I don't seek anything personal from Yoani either, and what's
more, having never flattered or bowed down to absolute power and the
onerous owner of everything around me, capable of ruining my life with a
snap of his fingers, then I'm not going to do it before anyone.

But it fries my bacon that in the official Cuban press, which is
scandalously silent about the high level corruption overrunning my
country, everything is reduced to the old story of money money money —
as evidenced by the fact that absolutely every Cuban political opponent,
from the oldest and most recalcitrant to the latest upstart, without
exception, is accused of this.

So fine, back to the point: paying this "depraved" woman more would be a
solution, right? And given that, thanks to the blockade, budgets for
repressive activities are tight, something unlikely, say 500,001 euros
ought to be enough. After all, for these out-of-control people,
according to the official accusation, the difference of a single dollar
ought to be enough to make them collapse, drooling, at the feet of their
new master.

In a country where millions keep their mouths shut and fake it for a
leadership position, for the assignment of a State-owned car, for a
little work mission abroad, what wouldn't this libertine do before such
an offer. I think, I suppose, I am saying, the best thing to do with
this trifling sum — which would be worth extracting, with due prudence,
from the secret account of some tycoon who's robbed millions from this
little country — would be enough to rid the general staff of such a pain
in the testicles.

I do want to note, though, that I acted here only from the professional
point of view, from an analgesic vocation to relieve the discomfort
caused by this chick with iron balls — undoubtedly the largest and most
powerful on the island, nobody questions it — and all would be carried
out in the most secretive and strict confidentiality.

After all, we doctors work for free in Cuba, it's nothing to me, but
it's amazing, I remain concerned that the genitals … I mean the genial…
strategists of State Security never thought to follow such an elementary
strategy.

November 27 2012

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